hen you chase a dog what happens? The dog runs! This is one similarity between men and dogs. Because men are hunters, it is in their blood to pursue, conquer and overcome challenges, even that of pursuing and securing a woman to mate with him for life. And that would be you!

There is something to be said for the more a man has to work for you, the more he will value you. Remember those dated black and white movies from the past when men wore suits and hats and acted like gentlemen whenever they saw a woman? They scurried to open doors and stood up whenever a lady entered the room. Men courted women to win their hearts. That’s the way it was. That’s the way it should be, right?

One might ask, what ever happened to chivalry? Well, what happened was women asked to be emancipated from home and marriage and to be treated as an equal to men and so the movement began.

You’ve heard the stories, women started burning their bras, agreeing to casual sex with little thought to the consequences to their own hearts and bodies in the form of sexually-transmitted diseases (STD). We gave men permission to act like “wild dogs” and we enabled pharmaceutical companies to provide a variety of contraceptive choices as well as treatments for STD’s. By nature, man is still a gatherer, burping, belching, swearing and messing up his surroundings. However, when a man is with a lady, he’s expected to be well-groomed and on his best behavior. Sadly, when women wanted to be like men, they start behaving like them. The result? Men relaxed their behaviors even more so! Not good!

Ladies, the biggest difference between yesterday and today, and how men respect women, is one word: FEAR! In earlier days, men feared being alone, sleeping alone, growing old alone and dying alone so they behaved in a respectful, romantic, caring, giving way to win women’s hearts. The culture then implied a graceful pressure for a man to marry as if being seen alone for too long would ultimately damage his reputation and label him as a nonconformist.

Because of this instinctual fear and cultural pressure, men were driven, trained and groomed on how to treat a woman properly. Hence, they opened doors, offered flowers, gave compliments and pursued courtship, which was expected then to lead to marriage. Well, ladies? Those days are long gone. Bye bye!

Now, over the past 50 to 100 years, women have gained a voice in the public square as well as opportunities for personal achievement like never before in history. Yet, on the flip side, opportunity hasn’t exactly translated into progress in our relationships with men, in the bedroom or in our hearts — the real measure of life’s happiness.

While there are plenty of books and articles written about the great accomplishments women have made, what this book focuses on is how women’s progress has affected our relationships with men, for better or for worse.

Turn on the television, walk into any bookstore, read the latest women’s magazines and you’ll see an avalanche of new fads and tricks on how to “capture” or “keep” a man. Don’t get lost in this jungle of information. Being a woman is not about looking like a super model, dancing like a stripper or wearing sexy lingerie to work. If those were the answers, we’d be hearing more about happy marriages versus the latest break-up or divorce. The truth is, if you really want to attract and keep a good man, you need to ... ... ... ...

hen you chase a dog what happens? The dog runs! This is one similarity between men and dogs. Because men are hunters, it is in their blood to pursue, conquer and overcome challenges, even that of pursuing and securing a woman to mate with him for life. And that would be you!

There is something to be said for the more a man has to work for you, the more he will value you. Remember those dated black and white movies from the past when men wore suits and hats and acted like gentlemen whenever they saw a woman? They scurried to open doors and stood up whenever a lady entered the room. Men courted women to win their hearts. That’s the way it was. That’s the way it should be, right?

One might ask, what ever happened to chivalry? Well, what happened was women asked to be emancipated from home and marriage and to be treated as an equal to men and so the movement began.

You’ve heard the stories, women started burning their bras, agreeing to casual sex with little thought to the consequences to their own hearts and bodies in the form of sexually-transmitted diseases (STD). We gave men permission to act like “wild dogs” and we enabled pharmaceutical companies to provide a variety of contraceptive choices as well as treatments for STD’s. By nature, man is still a gatherer, burping, belching, swearing and messing up his surroundings. However, when a man is with a lady, he’s expected to be well-groomed and on his best behavior. Sadly, when women wanted to be like men, they start behaving like them. The result? Men relaxed their behaviors even more so! Not good!

Ladies, the biggest difference between yesterday and today, and how men respect women, is one word: FEAR! In earlier days, men feared being alone, sleeping alone, growing old alone and dying alone so they behaved in a respectful, romantic, caring, giving way to win women’s hearts. The culture then implied a graceful pressure for a man to marry as if being seen alone for too long would ultimately damage his reputation and label him as a nonconformist.

Because of this instinctual fear and cultural pressure, men were driven, trained and groomed on how to treat a woman properly. Hence, they opened doors, offered flowers, gave compliments and pursued courtship, which was expected then to lead to marriage. Well, ladies? Those days are long gone. Bye bye!

Now, over the past 50 to 100 years, women have gained a voice in the public square as well as opportunities for personal achievement like never before in history. Yet, on the flip side, opportunity hasn’t exactly translated into progress in our relationships with men, in the bedroom or in our hearts — the real measure of life’s happiness.

While there are plenty of books and articles written about the great accomplishments women have made, what this book focuses on is how women’s progress has affected our relationships with men, for better or for worse.

Turn on the television, walk into any bookstore, read the latest women’s magazines and you’ll see an avalanche of new fads and tricks on how to “capture” or “keep” a man. Don’t get lost in this jungle of information. Being a woman is not about looking like a super model, dancing like a stripper or wearing sexy lingerie to work. If those were the answers, we’d be hearing more about happy marriages versus the latest break-up or divorce. The truth is, if you really want to attract and keep a good man, you need to practice abstinence.

Some of you may be rolling your eyes at me, and thinking it can’t be that simple. Yet, it is that simple. Sadly, with today’s liberal thinking
(i.e., no rules, anything goes, no right or wrong, etc.), today’s multiple partner relationships and the total lack of commitment to a single partner does not bode well for finding everlasting love.

Having been a personal coach for several years, this is the first thing I recommend to single women to improve their chances for finding a good man. For my married female clients, I suggest that they keep the mystery alive. It’s ironic, but my message to both single and married women is the same: Men are HUNTERS and NEED a challenge to find satisfaction, confidence and personal success, and ... to find YOU!

One of my clients, Cynthia, was a 43 year-old single woman who had never been married and was quite jaded when we started our coaching sessions. She was a romantic, loved men and was willing to do whatever it took to find everlasting happiness. Cynthia was a gorgeous woman, loved her job, and as far as I could tell, her behavior raised no “red flags” that would cause a man to run. Then, she shared more experiences with me about dating. I found a common thread. She, like many single women today, was sleeping with the men she dated from the onset. Cynthia said that she loved sex and wanted to be in a passionate relationship. She couldn’t accept the value of waiting. I explained to her how sex is very different for women than it is for men. If she ever wanted men to treat her differently (i.e., give her serious attention), then she needed to change her approach. She agreed to experiment with my suggestions.

I gave Cynthia a 90-day challenge — to refrain from sex with the next man she started seriously dating. She professed that no man would wait that long when there are so many women out there that would hop into bed on the very first date. Sound familiar?

Men who are not willing to get to know a woman in the beginning, will never be willing to commit later in a relationship. I reassured her to be patient because she would eventually start attracting a different breed of man who was also looking for something more. Wild dogs will generally go for wild bitches. A man who respects women is looking for that rare woman who respects herself and values what she can offer to a relationship.

Cynthia confessed that she was at a critical juncture in her life. She didn’t want to reach her 45th birthday and be single or without a prospect. She agreed to go on the 90-day “no sex” challenge.

Cynthia found that the challenge required a tremendous amount of discipline not to fall for the usual tricks and false promises she normally heard from wild dogs.
The 90-day challenge opened her eyes. She realized how not having sex with men she was dating called their bluff with their overly romantic promises. She experienced how many men were all saying the “right things,” but at the end of the evening, they were only looking for a good lay. She discovered that the challenge was to filter out the wild dogs from the real gentlemen. Wow, that simple, huh? Yep!

After four months of dating and filtering, Cynthia gained confidence in her ability to abstain from sex, and for the first time in a decade, she was confident that she was going to find her dream man.

At a five month interval of coaching, Cynthia met David. David was a 38-year old professional speaker and author who was seriously looking for that special woman to share his life with. David had a lot of exposure (to women) through his lectures. He was handsome, charming and extremely confident and had no problem attracting a woman.

When David met Cynthia, he was instantly impressed with her self-awareness and the fact she didn’t fall all over him the first time they met. This intrigued David right from the beginning.

David asked her out the same day Cynthia had promised to help one of her girlfriend’s move. Reluctantly, she declined David’s offer and kept her promise to her friend. It was the first time in years David had to work to book a first date. Cynthia confessed to David that the next man she was going to be with was going to be her husband and she could wait to find that right man.

Today, Cynthia and David are happily married after only eight months of seriously dating. David admits, if Cynthia made it too easy for him in the beginning of their dating, he probably would have lost interest and not realized what a great match she was for him.

Some things are truly worth waiting for. Now, think about this first simple rule to be a Classy Lady.

(Based on the reading of this Lesson, in your own words, write out what you have
learned and promise to do in order to become the Classy Lady you were born to be!)

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